A Seattle company called Genelex is pushing an unusual product for holiday gift giving. For a fee and a saliva sample, they say they’ll trace anyone’s roots all the way back to their prehistoric ancestry. “Thanks to breakthrough archaeological genome mapping, the origins and migration of ancient human clans can now be revealed for everyone by DNA testing,” they say in a release. Genelex maintains that everyone on Earth can be traced back “to one of the world's 33 maternal or 18 paternal clans.” Maybe so; but for the $895 they charge, how can you be sure? Who’s gonna dispute them? The Geico caveman? See if you’re descended from nobility at Genelex.