DON'T MEAN POOP IF IT AIN'T GOT THAT SWOOP

There are certain things in the world that really can’t be improved upon: The wheel, your basic mousetrap, a banana, and a shopping bag, right? WRONG, you uncreative cretin! The Duro Bag Manufacturing Co. of Walton, Ky., has just introduced the Wave Top shopping bag. “It boasts a uniquely fresh alternative to conventional bags by virtue of its flowing ‘wave-like’ cut-off. Hand-inserted handles finish this serrated-edge paper bag creation,” they crow in a release. And the only reason we mention it is because some mope had to actually sit down and write a release about a bag that has a “swoopy top” instead of one cut straight across. Remember THAT the next time you complain about your job. Now, go visit the Duro Bag.com Web site and click on "In the Spotlight" so we can boost the number of hits they get today, and some copywriter gets to keep his job for another week.