HELP REHABILITATE A CRIMINAL

While jailbird Paris Hilton stews in a cell (or hospital ward; it’s tough to keep track), business opportunities appear to be piling up for the self-branded socialite. Today’s modeling and spokesperson offer comes from Orlando-based clothing company Zarmina, which makes “customized silk designer wear.” And the company isn’t making the offer just to make money; Oh, no. “Paris' life has been overexposed physically, socially, and emotionally for several years,” said a company rep in a release. “Zarmina's modest and elegant outfits would allow her to physically and symbolically rehabilitate her image. All the while Paris would be doing what she loves to do: model exotic designer clothing.” Wow; talk about a win-win for everyone. And the inherent altruism is especially touching.