HEEEEEEY, MACARENA!

For all you young studs out there who spend hours in the gym and tanning salon hoping to score on a Saturday night, you’ve apparently been doing it all wrong. That’s the word from Nightlife Media Group, marketers of the instructional dance video, “Hip Hop Moves For The Club, For Men.” In a release, they spell it out in blunt terms: “Most men wouldn't go clubbing without brushing their teeth, but most still go out without a clue as to how to dance. When most women equate how a man dances to how he's going to perform in bed, that seems like a terrible idea. [Italics ours; And, uh, is that true?] They also note that “90% of attraction is all about body language, especially in a nightclub where charming her through conversation is next to impossible.” Wait, WHAT? What about all those surveys where women say the No. 1 priority in a guy is “A Sense of Humor.” It’s not lookin’ good for the home team. If you’ve been striking out more than usual lately, get your freak on by going to Learn Club Dance.com. And ease up on the cologne, stinky.