Short Takes

STROKE OF GENIUS

We’ve given up on trying to get our old paintbrushes clean; after a while, they get so gunked-up we toss ‘em. That must be what motivated EZ Paint Tools Co. to develop the EZ Clean Paint Brush. It’s got a hollow handle with a threaded end so you can screw it onto a garden hose, turn on the water and the paint washes away from the inside. The company says the brush comes clean in under a minute. Available online at EZ Paint Tools. com, it retails for between ten and fifteen dollars. They’re probably gonna clean up. (Heh.)

SOUNDS LIKE ONE OF THOSE LATE-NIGHT IDEAS

Far be it from us to pooh-pooh any new ideas (Oh, who are we kidding?), but this one seems a bit out there even by our lax standards. The good folks at The Beer Journal are encouraging folks to buy their self-named product so they can remember their beers. (Italics added) “‘The Beer Journal’ is a tool in which beer drinkers, from casual tasters to connoisseurs, can create their own descriptions of the beers they experience. 'I could remember that I tried a particular beer, but it was hard for me to remember much more than I liked it or did not like the beer' says the product’s creator" in a release. (And the bluenose in us rolls his eyes.) They also note that “‘The Beer Journal’ is available in three different formats; soft cover, spiral bound, and hardback.” Or you could just go buy a notebook and save yourself $25.95. To spend on BEER!

THIS'LL DRIVE YOU TO DRINK

There’s one acronym that strikes fear into the hearts of all men: “PMS.” Now some savvy women have taken a biological condition and built a whole Web site around an effort to market their book, PMS: The Owner’s Manual. Why? They sum it up succinctly: “While PMS remains a subject most choose to avoid discussing openly, the reality is that the affliction affects nearly every person on Earth in one way or another. Even if one is not predisposed to PMS symptoms, chances are good that that person regularly interacts with someone who is, including sisters, relatives, friends and co-workers.” Amen to that sister. And the site is a compendium of observations and caveats for those stupid enough to ask, “Whatsa matta, you got your period?” Duck and cover, brother. Full details and wise guidance can be found at PMS Central.com.

SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE

Smokers are finding themselves shut out of more and more places to indulge, so it was only a matter of time before someone came up with a substitute that doesn’t involve chewing and spitting. A company called EGlobal is about to market Smoke Scents, which it calls a "Personal Tobacco Aroma Inhaler." The idea is, the smoker can get a noseful of what they’re seeking, without lighting up and spreading smoke. The company is so sure of its coming success that it’s now auctioning off advertising-rights space on the Smoke Scent. Auction details on what they say “industry experts are calling the most exciting tobacco product launch in history” (Hyperbole much?) can be found Here.

WHO'S WATCHING?

German-watch company Botta has a new line that is sure to have all the hipsters sporting one shortly. (With thanks to our friends at CoolHunting.com for the tip.) It’s a wristwatch with an hour hand only. No minutes, no seconds, for those who are always fashionably late. It can be seen Here, but if you don’t speak or understand German, you might be S.O.L. Still, it’s a cool-looking timepiece, and if we could figure out how much 229 euros was in dollars, we might consider getting one. But who’s got the time?

WHY WE'LL NEVER MOVE TO THE COUNTRY

There are folks marketing things out there that us city-slickers never even conceived of, but we imagine they’re making a good buck doing so. Today’s Exhibit “A” comes from a company called Predator Pee.com, and they sell exactly what their name implies: The urine of predatory animals, to keep pests away. We found this out by a release they sent, telling us how a liberal application of Bobcat Pee around the house will keep house mice and field mice from trying to move inside as the weather gets colder. “We put the predator pee in the bottle so you can use it to send a message to the mice,” they said. “One of the most voracious predators of mice is the bobcat; believe-it-or-not, you can buy real bobcat pee from predatorpee.com.” We believe it; but more importantly, we don’t wanna know how they collect it. That’s something we’ve yet to see on Discovery’s “World’s Dirtiest Jobs.”

WHY WE'RE GLAD WE'RE GOING BALD

Sticking to today’s theme of “Mystery Fluids,” we also heard from Healthy Hair Plus.com, a manufacturer of hair products that is now pushing “Emu Oil: The Next Big Thing in Hair Care Products.” (The Capital Letters are all theirs). And what exactly is the benefit, you might ask? “Research has shown Emu Oil stimulates skin development, promotes follicle growth and is effective at blocking DHT, an inhibitor to hair growth. Emu Oil has superb transdermal features and acts as a carrier for vital nutrients, Omega 3, 6 and 9 and essential fatty acids.” Hey, who knew? And as the Emu is a flightless bird, we imagine catching one is rather easy. But again, we really don’t want to know where the oil comes from, mmmmkay?

MORE FLUID NEWS

We used to think that medical workers wore “scrubs” so that they could be tossed when an errant patient’s fluids (And let’s just leave it at that. Ew.) got on their clothes. Our naiveté was laid bare today when we got pitched by Scrubs and Beyond.com which is marketing a whole line of designer scrubs. (Man, we REALLY have to get out more…) “Shoppers can identify the fit and waistline style they prefer, and then shop for the prints and colors knowing exactly how that style will fit. These features, along with their expanded selection of both brand name and value scrubs, mean it has never been easier to find the perfect medical uniform,” they claim. Even better, they also carry a line of Baby Phat scrubs, (Yay, Kimora!) for those who need a designer label in the O.R. See the full line at Scrubs and Beyond.com.

WELL, NOW THAT EVERY OTHER PROBLEM IS SOLVED . . .

Man, sometimes these things just write themselves. To wit: “National pet products expert and New York socialite Charlotte Reed is proud to announce the launch of her 11-city ‘The Good Manners Tour.’ Charlotte will bestow her own celebrity panache to pet parents nationwide, ensuring that their dogs are just as envied as any A-List dog.” Oy. Reed is apparently undertaking the tour to flog her new book, The Miss Fido Manners Complete Book of Dog Etiquette (Yes, really), and a number of high-end sponsors are along for the ride. Complete details are at Miss Fido Manners.com. Or, you can do like we do and make that “Hssst!” noise that Dog Whisperer Cesar Milan makes. It works on our mutts; they think we’re crazy.

. . . OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

Yeah, we know it’s the punchline to an old joke, but Playboy started it with this headline on a release today: “Quattro and Playboy Partner to Put a Playmate in Your Pocket.” The wireless company and the racy publisher are teaming to offer Playboy.com content to select mobile customers. It’ a pretty good idea, as marketers will be able to reach a select audience, with the service featuring “relevant advertisements from premium sponsors such as AXE Vice body spray and Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.” But just like a sudden, cold shower, they put the brakes on our enthusiasm with this caveat: “Whether at work or on the go, Playboy enthusiasts can browse non-nude photos [Italics added] of their favorite Playboy models and get to know turn-ons and turn-offs in their personal interviews.” Yeah, because we want Playboy for the articles.