FIX YOUR PRIORITIES

Ya just gotta love when a marketing pitch opens like this: “The worst part about shooting home invaders is having to get out of bed to grab the shotgun.” (With thanks to our friends at Fark.com for the heads-up.) The product being shilled is called “The BackUp,” a gun rack that fits between your mattress and box spring, with two handy outside handles to keep your shotgun within reach while you’re sleeping. (Yes, really.) Don’t believe it? Check out the ad HERE. Because they’re only $39.95, “…many customers are buying one for EACH side of the bed,” they say. And we especially like the helpful caveat at the end: “Not intended for use in homes with children.” Yeah, thanks for that. Sometimes these things just write themselves.