Short Takes

'IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME . . .'

Cher might’ve had it right back when she was singing the blues, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Entrepreneur Joshua Opperman didn’t know what to do with his expensive ring after he and his fianceé broke it off. So he started a new site I Do Now I Don’t.com as a destination for folks wanting to sell a cursed ring, and those who want to buy one at a discount. (Hey, takes all kinds.) The site has also developed as a mixing place for folks to trade tales of woe. But what we like best is that it even has banner ads for —get this—The Knot wedding site. Can you say “Irony”?

'AND, IN THE END . . . '

For some reason, we’re into song lyrics today, but this one is appropriate. A company called Vidstone LLC is marketing videoplayers built into a headstone, so after you’re gone, visitors to your grave can see a 10-minute show all about you! (Yeah, kinda weirded us out, too.) But apparently there’s a market for it, as they have some 100 dealers across the country. (With thanks to faithful reader Lyle O. for the heads-up.) We hit their site at VidStone.com, but couldn’t get the sample to play. Sales are kind of stiff, with a company rep telling the AP the units moving are “Not a huge number at the moment.” Yeah, but just wait until this up and coming demographic of tech-savvy kids start kicking off. Then you’ll see some sales. Buy their stock now!

TATTOO WHO?

According to a recent poll we have no intention of checking, some 17% of people who get tattoos regret doing so. That same poll also points out that “Republicans and people from the South have the highest incident of regret,” which we find utterly amusing. So, what to do? The good folks at Wrecking Balm are marketing the answer with their eponymous Tattoo Fade System. They claim it’s cheaper than a laser and works almost as well. Full details are at their Web site, but as best as we can determine, you have to apply the stuff daily and your regrettable Tat will fade over time. And we especially like this warning on their FAQ page: “It is not recommended for fading tattoos covering facial or genital areas of the body. See warnings before use.” Yeah. Shoulda thought of that before you had your groin inked.

SPEAKING OF REGRETS . . .

Can you remember the best gift you got last Christmas? Can you remember any gift? According to “experience-gift-site” Excitations.com, some 41% of people can’t recall one, either. Which makes sense: Excitations is in the business of providing “experiential” gifts where the recipient has to actually go out and DO something. Such as? “Skydiving, gourmet cooking lessons, whitewater rafting, wolf watching, etc.,” they say in a release. Not a bad idea, but you should REALLY know your recipient. If someone gave us a skydiving trip as a gift, we’d have to wonder what they were really thinking. “Here, this is for you. Go up 10,000 feet and jump out of a perfectly good airplane.” Uhh, gee, thanks?

SIMPLE IS AS SIMPLE DOES

Got a problem with birds hanging around? Some folks do, and for them we present the WhirlyBird Repeller. Marketed by two guys in South Carolina bothered by birds on their dock, the repeller spins and clacks in the slightest breeze, chasing birds away and stopping them from roosting. Sounds dumb, unless you’ve been one of the poor unfortunates who’s had to clean up after the feathered foulers. Check it out for yourself at their site, and be sure to watch the video. Sometimes the simplest inventions are the best.

SOMETIMES DIVISION EQUALS ADDITION

Couples sleeping together sometime have disagreements over how warm or cool the room should be, and the top sheet in the bed can be a source of contention. Cotton or flannel? Now a company called OppoSheets thinks it’s hit upon a solution. Their product, the, uhhh “OppoSheet,” has two sides: One half is cotton, the other is flannel. So now folks who share a bed can have their favorite type of cloth covering them at night. Only drawback we see? A 600-thread count queen-sized sheet set goes for $289.95. Yowza! Folks who are as cheap as us could do what we and the missus do: We each have separate twin-sized top sheets. End of problem, especially if one of the sleepers (Visual: Throwing a sidelong glance at the wife) is a “sheet-cocooner.” See them for yourself at OppoSheets.com.

AND ANOTHER NICHE HEARD FROM

We are continually amazed by folks who develop and market niche products we never would have thought of. Today’s offering come from RusSan Enterprises of Florida. They’re the makers and marketers of Dishwasher Rack Repair Magic. Which is what, exactly? It’s a kit so "People no longer need to suffer through the embarrassment of having ugly, rusty dishwasher racks." (Yes, really.) The “kit” goes for $4.99, versus the $60 - $120 you might spend for a new rack, and it “puts on a fresh vinyl coating that is both waterproof and rust-proof for a fraction of the cost of either buying new racks or replacing the dishwasher.” Seriously, we had no clue such a need existed. We have to get out more.

ANOTHER MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA

The trainers at the gym are always pushing people to “go the distance” or add “just one more rep” to their sets. (To which we usually reply, “Stop Yellin’!”) That’s all well and good, but we think Coach Lou Kaczenski has a better idea. He’s out with a new book titled The Couch Workouts, which, he touts in a release, “helps people get in shape from the convenience of their own couch.” Even better, he claims, “A person can do total body workouts right on their couch in one hour a week.” We have no idea if the program works, but the title alone will probably assure it’s a bestseller this holiday season. Details are available at self-publishing site Lulu.com.

CAPSAICIN, THE MIRACLE CURE

It’s been a while since we wrote about any new products containing Capsaicin, the pepper-based ingredient that cures a numbers of ills. Now BlairLab is out with a new skin cream based on Capsaicin called Biocap, which allegedly wipes out wrinkles. There are a number of before-and-after shots on their homepage that seem to bear out the claims. “It gives you a youthful, healthy, glowing complexion faster than Retinol, far superior to vitamin C, and without irritation, needles, or surgery,” they say. A cure in a tube? They’ll probably sell millions.

WHAT IS IT WITH NOSE NEWS?

We have this ongoing fascination with products that clean out your nasal passages; no idea why, but they keep popping up in our inbox. Today’s offering comes from Hydro Pulse, makers of yet another device to irrigate your nasal passages. Yes, it involves a device, and water, and you leaning over a sink while you “irrigate.” We have no doubt it’s a wonderful and useful product, but why must they always include a video that we feel compelled to look at, and the regret it the moment we do? Gluttons for punishment, we guess. It’s all available at Hydro Pulse, but don’t look at it while eating. Take our word.