Short Takes

WHEN YOU JUST HAVE TO SAY, 'OH, DUUUUDE'

Got a note from “Rescue Rick the Grass Cut Man” telling us he’s pushing his own line of wristbands “…to promote yard safety awareness.” (And people STILL ask if we make these up. Uh, No.) Seems Rick had a run-in with a power mower some time back, and the score ended up “Mower, 1; Rick’s Big Toe, 0.” (Think we’re kidding? Go to Rescue Rick.com and scroll allll the way to the end. Ew.) “I want to rescue people and animals from getting hurt due to a yard accident. I want to find a cure for yard accidents through research and to create awareness through education and entertainment. I seek to collaborate with various organizations to promote yard safety awareness,” Rick said in a release. We’re not exactly sure how a wristband will help, but we applaud his initiative. And a visit to his site is worth it just to see his “costume.” Whoa.

GO, GO, GO!

Another one of our annual favorite marketers is domain name registrar Go Daddy.com, which is also turning up the heat in anticipation of the Big Game and its annual commercial brouhaha. Laying the groundwork early, Go Daddy has a booth at this year’s Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, where it’s building buzz and garnering ink by giving out a free domain name to every booth visitor (Big Whoop) and offering pix and autographs with the (in)famous Go Daddy Girls (Ah. BIGGER Whoop). Love him or hate him, you have to give props to Go Daddy founder Bob Parsons who knows how to work the media to his own benefits. Hey, Bob; we’re at 770 Broadway in the Big Apple. Stop by. And bring the girls.

SOME BESTS AND WORSTS

Got a note from Minneapolis naming and branding company Pollywog Inc., identifying what they call some of the best (and worst) brand names of 2007. The hands-down winner of course was Nintendo’s “Wii,” which, despite opening itself up to potty-humor, also had its pluses. “It’s a name that you just don’t forget,” said one of the company’s principals. “Phonetically, it sounds like "we," a nod to its multiplayer design, or ‘whee,’ the sound of people having fun. Graphically, the lower-case i's resemble two little people, which has been used to great effect in the ‘Wii's’ TV commercials.” On the “worst” side were two notable names: “dimdim,” a free Web conferencing service, and “HYmini,” which they describe thusly: “An unfortunate name for a very cool little device that absorbs wind and solar energy and converts it to electricity for cell phones, MP3 players, and other such gadgets. How could they not have realized how close this name sounds to a part of female anatomy? Criminy.” Indeed.

CHECK YOUR COPY

We know that marketers have to prep their work early, ship it off and hope nothing untoward happens in the interim. So we feel sorta bad for the Toys ‘R Us folks in these days of recalls and scares. Still, you’d think someone would’ve given their latest circular the ol’ eyeball before shipping it. It arrived with today’s morning paper, and right there on page 3 is “Aqua Dots,” the product recalled last week because some kids ingested a few of the dots and got deathly ill. We assume (we hope) the stuff is off the shelves and it was a case of “Let’s hope no one notices.” It’s a full color insert; must’ve cost a bundle. Oops.

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS . . .

The good folks of Sioux City, Iowa, have beseeched the FAA for years to change the abbreviation designation of their airport. (With thanks to our older brother who spends too much time waiting for his “Daily Insider” to arrive each day.) You know how Los Angeles is LAX? And New York’s Kennedy Airport is JFK? Sioux City’s is “SUX.” Seriously. In the vein of “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em,” one smart marketer is now selling branded “Fly SUX” gear, including caps, T-shirts, baby sweaters and more. A sample is available via a link off the airport’s site, FlySUX.com. Click on it, and note the other Sioux City landmarks listed on the left. We’ll bet the “Catholic Diocese of Sioux City” is real pleased to be there. Heh.

HOW TO BLOW YOUR NACHOS

Every year around this time we get to be amused as marketers start talking about the kind of ad they want to run on the Super Bowl, and the network carrying the game goes “Nuh-UH.” We think the following will never make it out of the ad agency’s door. A startup company called IntroFee.com is undertaking a search for live birth footage to use in its ad announcing the “birth” of itself as a new company. (Yes, really.) According to details on their Web site, the “Video must show clear baby emergence, must show umbilical cord being severed [and] include sound.” Yeah, good luck getting THAT past Standards and Practices.

DON'T READ AND DRIVE

We always applaud those who come up with new and unique ways to market something, but this one is a bit out there. A startup company called “Ads 4 Tow” is pushing a program to contract with drivers and then sell the advertising space on the back of their cars. According to a release, “the latest version of mobile billboards will provide the perfect visibility solution with unlimited reach and incredible frequency; their system can turn just about any vehicle on the road into a mobile message center.” We don’t know about the road laws in San Diego where the company is based, but here in New York, if you drive a vehicle with a commercial message on one of our many parkways, the troopers will have words with you. And it won’t be “Have a nice day.” See their prototypes at Ads 4 Tow.com.

SIGN OF THE TIMES

We understand the need to occasionally "goose" your site in order to boost business, but a push we got today from Security Pro USA only served to make us sigh deeply. The company makes personal, police and military safety products, and it was this paragraph that gave us pause: "Things are getting pretty tough out there. There are more guns than ever in the wrong hands and more of those hands are willing to pull the trigger. The only safe solution to enhance a person's personal self defense, if one must be in dangerous places, is to have body armor." Wait, WHAT?! Are they seriously suggesting that we start wearing an armored vest? It would seem the inmates have finally taken over the asylum. Increase your own level of paranoia by seeing all they have to offer at Security Pro USA.

BACK FROM THE DEAD

Don’t know how we missed this last year, but word is out today that there will once again be a “Men of Mortuaries” fundraising calendar. The effort was started last year by an undertaker who wanted to raise funds in recognition of his sister’s successful fight against breast cancer. Details on that group are at Kamm Cares.org. But for a look at the morticians who take it off for charity, you have to visit Men of Mortuaries.com. And while we applaud their generosity and selflessness, we have to admit the whole idea of morticians posing half-nekkid is just a tad creepy.

WHO'D COME TO YOUR FUNERAL?

One of the low points about dying (besides the obvious) is that you never know how many people will actually show up at your memorial service. Now a California company is addressing that very issue while pumping up its business at the same time. Milestone Memories is marketing the idea of holding a memorial service for yourself while you’re still alive. The co-owners claim to have more than 25 years' event-planning experience between them, and will design events to detailed client specifications, focusing on the guest of honor's personal favorites. "Why not pull out all the stops now?" they ask. "Don't wait until it's too late." It all makes perfect sense, in a slightly twisted sort of way.