Short Takes

ALL EGGS IN ONE BASKET?

We’re still geeky enough to wear our cell phone on a belt clip, despite all the fashion mavens’ warnings against that. We. Don’t. Care. Now a company called Celi Inc. is trying to ease that burden for others via its new “Celicase,” described as “an elegant, combination purse/wallet/cell phone holder handmade from the finest Turkish leather. Sleek and compact, it houses any size cell phone or PDA and features an additional compartment for credit cards, identification, and money.” So basically, it’s a purse with a section for your electronic device, so that if it should get stolen, you lose everything all at once. But we did note that one of its many features is that the thing can be worn on a belt, for added safety. Not lookin’ so geeky NOW, are we? See it for yourself at Celicase.com.

ICE. STAT!

We have no idea who’d need ice immediately, but one U.K. company is making it available anyway. Online retailer The Sports HQ is touting its “Palm Springs” range of portable ice makers which start at around 100 British pounds, or about $204 American. We’re just not sure there’s a demand for this. They write: “The Palm Springs Ice Machine can produce ice within 10 minutes from filling—thanks to its patented compressor technology, allowing the machine to run efficiently and quietly—a generous 2.3 litre water reservoir will ensure that ice is never in a short supply. A programmable timer facility ensures that ice is produced as and when it’s required for ultimate peace of mind—never forgot the ice again.” Question: If you can remember to bring the ice-maker, wouldn’t it be just as easy to remember to bring the ice? You’d think.

STROKE OF GENIUS

We’ve given up on trying to get our old paintbrushes clean; after a while, they get so gunked-up we toss ‘em. That must be what motivated EZ Paint Tools Co. to develop the EZ Clean Paint Brush. It’s got a hollow handle with a threaded end so you can screw it onto a garden hose, turn on the water and the paint washes away from the inside. The company says the brush comes clean in under a minute. Available online at EZ Paint Tools. com, it retails for between ten and fifteen dollars. They’re probably gonna clean up. (Heh.)

SMOKE, SMOKE, SMOKE THAT CIGARETTE

Smokers are finding themselves shut out of more and more places to indulge, so it was only a matter of time before someone came up with a substitute that doesn’t involve chewing and spitting. A company called EGlobal is about to market Smoke Scents, which it calls a "Personal Tobacco Aroma Inhaler." The idea is, the smoker can get a noseful of what they’re seeking, without lighting up and spreading smoke. The company is so sure of its coming success that it’s now auctioning off advertising-rights space on the Smoke Scent. Auction details on what they say “industry experts are calling the most exciting tobacco product launch in history” (Hyperbole much?) can be found Here.

WHY HANG WHEN YOU CAN TUCK?

Do you slobber on yourself when you eat? Yeah, us neither, but that apparently hasn’t stopped a Florida inventor from marketing the Napnik, available at Napnik.com. As far as we can tell from pictures on the site, it’s an 18-inch chain with an alligator clip on each end. The idea is you carry it with you to a restaurant, and then clip each end to a napkin draped across your chest, to catch spills. Nice idea, but at $12.95 each, plus $2.50 S&H, it seems a tad rich for our tastes. Especially when we found similar items at dental supply sites for a buck-forty each. Or, you could do like those guys on The Sopranos did, and tuck your napkin into your neck. Or just eat neater. We’re just sayin’…

HOOKED ON CONVENIENCE

Don't you just hate it when you sit down somewhere and you have to set your purse down on a dirty, filthy, vermin-infested floor? Yeah, us neither. (Who goes to places like that, anyway??) Well, a California outfit called Pretty Practical Productions LLC has a solution to that problem in a device they're marketing as the 'Prensus.' It’s a decorative hook that you set on a table’s edge, then hang your bag off the other end. No more bag on the floor! (And just ignore the fact that it's now dangling at knee-level and smacking you every time you move your leg. Don't be a whiner!) The handy-dandy device goes for a mere $9.99 (plus S&H) and can be seen at their Web site, PrensusPHD.com. Just to reiterate, it's a hook. By the way, we hate to be obvious, but we believe the word is spelled 'Princess.' We’re just sayin'. . .

LIGHT THE WAY. OR DON'T

Usually when we turn in for the night, it’s lights out, total darkness, then sleep, in that order. So we’re a tad puzzled by a pitch we got for something called the 'd-light Huggable', a pillow with 12 LED lights embedded in it. According to a release: 'The light is ideal in a children’s room and as a sunshine alternative for those suffering from seasonal affective disorder (S.A.D.). As well, it will be marketed to the medical community as a source of comfort for hospital patients.' Last time we were hospitalized, we got no comfort from any lights. (The Pharma-grade narcotics are another story.) The 'd-light Huggable' (available at Diana Lin Design.com) retails for a blinding $160. A plug-in night-light is considerably cheaper.

THE GEEKS WEIGH IN

If you’ve never been to GeekAlerts.com, it’s worth a visit if only to see what folks are marketing to the nerds. Their latest offering is sure to attract Trekkies from all over. (And yes, we’re glancing in Michigan’s direction, Dr. Mike) It’s the Star Trek Chandelier, looking like a mini-version of the Starship Enterprise. (See it HERE.) At $178, it’s a bit rich for our taste, but they do know their audience. Witness this bit of copy that accompanies their realistic “Buzz Lightyear” costume: “Have you ever felt that you have more friends than you can handle? Not a problem anymore. This Buzz Lightyear Prestige Costume ($83) is guaranteed to effectively reduce your circle of friends. You don’t even have to wear it, just tell your friends that you actually bought the thing.” Gotta love truth in advertising.

THE FIRST RULE OF WASHLET IS, NO ONE TALKS ABOUT WASHLET

A few months back, there was a big stink (Sorry. Couldn’t resist) in New York about a billboard showing models’ bare butts with smiley faces drawn on them. Seems the building below the billboard—a church—took offense. (Go figure). So now the campaign for this new product, the Washlet, has gone online. A visit to their “Clean Is Happy” Web site starts out with the ubiquitous butts, and then changes to a bunch of talking heads, each one touting a specific feature of what is basically a bidet. (Or butt-washer, for you Communications Majors.) But here’s the thing; They Never, in any of the vignettes, say specifically what the device does. The closest they come is under the “Technology” heading, where some crude drawings flash on the screen, and just as quickly disappear; see for yourself. We kept waiting for just ONE person to bust out and shout, “It’s a Butt-Scrubber!” But Nooooooo….

OH, THOSE PESKY MOLES!

No, not the kind on your face; we’re talking about the ones that invade your garden. Fortunately, the sharp marketers at IntroMarkStore.com are offering “Mole Pop’rs.” Which are what? They’re “pre-mixed pellets [that] are molded dry. Inserted into the ground, the ground moisture activates them, and they release odors that rodents hate.” A picture of the brown, tube-shaped devices Here gives us a pretty good idea what they’re made of. (Ew!) But even better is some of the other bizarre offerings at this online store we’d never heard of before. Such as? How about “UDS, an Umbrella Draining Solution” or “Snap Jack,” which “Cuts Pancakes into Perfect Bite-Sized Pieces.” Man, how’d we ever survive without this stuff?