The Valentine’s Day onslaught of gift ideas is in full swing, and we’re wading through them all. One that stopped us cold today came courtesy of Pia Esthetics Day Spa and Body Shop in Tampa, Fla. They’re pushing a “Betty Beauty Hair Dye Kit” as an ideal V-Day present. We don’t know quite how to describe this, but suffice to say it’s NOT for the hair on your head. (Blushing furiously now.) “Available in brown, black, blonde, auburn, green, red, pink and with holiday stencils, the playful kits include easy-to-use instructions and are certain to ‘get your betty ready’,” they tell us in a release. Full details are at their site, ByPia.com. And now we need to go lie down with a cold compress.