Short Takes

WEAR YOUR MUSIC ON YOUR SLEEVE

Scientists at an Australian government branch called the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization are pushing their latest invention, a high-tech t-shirt with built-in motion sensors. So what, you say? Just this: Once the wearer starts mimicking the motions of a guitar player, sensors in the material pick up the movement and convert it into actual guitar riffs. Explaining the benefit of such a product, CSIRO said in a statement: “Electronic textiles have rapidly become platforms for many new personalized technologies, such as mp3 controls and computer keyboards. Commercialization and acceptance of electronic textile technologies is proceeding in the sequence: entertainment—sports—rehabilitation—medicine.” We see the future benefit; but we just want one now, so that when we play our “air guitar,” we can make some actual noise. The full story can be found Here. Party on, Wayne!

WE THOUGHT BANJOS MADE ‘HAPPY MUSIC’

A pitch came to us today of a soon-to-be-released book with the depressing title, The Death Throes and Demise of the Banjo, by Carole Wade. In it, the author bemoans the current state of banjo players, alleging “They talk excessively throughout their performances, grabbing one banjo to pick for a few minutes and then sharply turn around on stage to ‘hype’ another banjo while at the same time ‘foot-stomping’ frenetically.” (Wow. We’re suddenly bummed out.) And while we’re not in marketing any more, that doesn’t seem to us to be the most enticing argument to buy her book, so we’re not sure what her release was hoping to accomplish. And as a former banjo-picker ourselves (Yes, really.), we take issue with her whole premise. So, just so we don’t leave you feeling blue as you roll into the weekend, how about closing out with a little Foggy Mountain Breakdown? You’re welcome.

DAVID TAKES ON GOLIATH

Lionel Richie has had a huge career in pop music, releasing yet another album just last week. Unfortunately, he titled it Coming Home, the same name chosen for the new album by the lesser-known group, New Found Glory, whose CD hits stores today. Rather than just seething about it, the group sent Lionel an open letter. It reads:

Dear Lionel:
Congrats this week on the release of your new CD "Coming Home"—what an awesome title! Sounds familiar though, where did we hear that before? Oh yeah, it's the name of our new CD, which drops Tues Sept 19th. Together we have the same CD title out in the same month. Pure genius!

Anyway, we know it is too late for you to change your album title, but we expect a call before your next album comes out. If you don't, our follow up to "Coming Home" may be entitled "Dancing On The Ceiling" with such original punk rock songs as "Say You, Say Me" & "All Night Long." Our new single and video is "It's Not Your Fault." Hey ... we haven't heard your song yet ... Send us a copy.

Regards,
Jordan, Steve, Chad, Ian, Cyrus
New Found Glory

Ooooooh, SNAP!

“I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDAH”

Recording artist Nick Lachey—known in some snarky corners (not HERE, of course!) as “the ex-Mr. Jessica Simpson”—is going on tour in support of his album, “What’s Left of Me.” (All together now: “Awwww!”) But what’s noteworthy about the otherwise mundane press release trumpeting this effort is what was buried down at the bottom. Besides being sponsored in part by the “All New Dodge Nitro,” Nick has signed on with a famous candy bar. Or, as the release says, “Also on board as sponsor for the … tour is Snickers, the nation's most satisfying candy bar. (Sez who?) Nick Lachey will be judging the Snickers "Satisfaction Sing-Off," a national contest created to celebrate the ingredients that make Snickers so satisfying. Participants are encouraged to compose and perform a song about Snickers for a chance to get their moment of fame on YouTube and be judged by their peers. Finalists will sing their songs to Nick in person (italics added) for the chance to win $25,000.” At which point Nick will no doubt seriously question his choice of careers.

… OR YOU CAN JUST PRODUCE LITTLE ICONS OF YOURSELF

Singer and model Gwen Stefani knows a thing or two about personal marketing, as she proves with her latest offering, a Limited Edition series of eight dolls titled “Love. Angel. Music. Baby” inspired by her recent multi-platinum album and tour. “Ranging from her Hollaback Girl to the fashion-forward Harajuku Girls of Tokyo, the dolls in this high-end line will reflect the distinctive style and personality which have made Gwen Stefani an icon,” a release from manufacturer Huckleberry Toys says. Pricing was unavailable, as was any further information; a visit to HuckleberryToys.com only brought up a holding page. Yeah, that’s the spirit, Gwen: Make ‘em wait!

WE THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD

Word out of L.A. today is that 1950s “rocker” Pat Boone (Those marks are our version of “air-quotes”) is coming out with a new CD, Pat Boone R&B Classics. And if you ever knew Pat Boone and his “music” (There they are again; no offense intended Pat, but, come ON…), you’d look askance, too. According to a release put out by his PR machine, Boone will put his own spin on such classic R&B tunes as “Papa's Got a Brand New Bag”; “Soul Man”; “Get Down Tonight”; “Tears of a Clown”; and “Celebration” (among others), joined in duets by the original artists of those songs. (Yes, really.) They also tell us the CD “…is set to drop in stores nationwide, Sept. 19.” Just for the record, Pat Boone turned 72 this past June. Why, that’s older than Mick Jagger!