No, you Perv, we’re talking about shoes; specifically, plastic shoes, although these are being marketed to an affluent audience. They come to us via a Brazilian company called “Melissa,” whose Web site is Here, but it’s in Portuguese, so that’s not very helpful. (But we thank Cool Hunting.com for the tip-off, where you can see more details. Scroll down.) The shoes are worth a look, because the company has thoughtfully infused the material with “a mixture of jellybeans, lollipops and gumballs for an association of a happy childhood,” should your tootsies start to stank. They’re allegedly pretty comfortable too. What’s not to like?