BRING YOUR OWN STAKE

We’re slightly burned out, so we asked our travel agent where’s a good place to go to unwind. She said “Bermuda,” we booked it, and we’re set to go. We suppose that was the result the folks at the Transylvania (Romania) Tourist Commission were hoping for in the release they sent us today, but it wasn’t to be. Maybe it was the opening line, complete with stilted language, that turned us off: “As everybody can imagine Transylvania is all about stunning scenery and terrific places. Everyone knows and fears Dracula; still everyone wants to travel to Transylvania. Transylvania and the Carpathian mountains are the very best parts of Romania. So, the ones interested in learning the truth, being charmed by the legend and enjoying the best Dracula experience ever, are welcomed to travel to Transylvania and join the Vampire in Transylvania tour.” (Uhhh, no, thanks.) But not content to stop there, they dangled this carrot in front of us: “Special events experienced in this Romanian vacation:
Killing of the Living Dead ritual—Helping a haunted spirit to gain his peace—attending the ritual of killing a vampire.” And, “Learning how to make a special stake to kill a Vampire from the Vampire Wooden Stake Specialist, a famous woodcraftsman from Maramures.” What? WHAT?! Who wrote this, Borat?