Short Takes

THE RACE GOES TO THE SWIFTEST

Apple CEO Steve Jobs created a huge buzz earlier this week when he unveiled the new MacBook Air notebook computer at the MacWorld Expo. Besides its light weight, the unit is only about three-quarters of an inch thick, and Jobs, ever the showman, pulled it out of a standard yellow manila business envelope with a red-string tie at the top. Sensing an opportunity, two entrepreneurs have created a new “AirMail” sleeve especially for the unit. It’s made out of upholstery grade vinyl and lined with fleece. Selling for a reasonable $29.95, it’ll ship when the new Mac does, in about two weeks. See it firsthand (and mutter about not thinking it up yourself) at Manila Mac.com.

WE CAN RELATE

An Atlanta company called SpinVox has a pretty cool program they’re shilling: taking your voicemails and converting them into text, to be read at your leisure. (Note to First Responders: This is inadvisable for 911 calls, so don’t.) In order to draw attention to what they see as a “problem,” SpinVox has come out with a list of the “Top voicemails that people should avoid leaving at all costs.” Space precludes us from listing them all, but you’ll recognize some of the worst offenders: “The Screaming Eagle: The voicemail left in a noisy bar or as a fire truck is passing by”; “The Drunken Dispatch: The drunk dial voicemail”; “The Marathon Message: The extremely long voicemail that never ends”; and our all-time favorite, “The Death March: Leaving a phone number at the end of a long voicemail. If you missed it, you now have to listen through the entire message just to get the phone number.” More details on the technology are at SpinVox.com

THIS CALL'S FOR YOU

Also from the Land of the Rising Sun today, Web-based publisher Spicy Soft Corp. is pushing its “Anti-Groping Appli” for cell phones, specifically for use in Japan. With its notoriously packed trains and guys with roaming hands, “The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone's screen to show to the offender: "Excuse me, did you just grope me?" "Groping is a crime," and finally, "Shall we head to the police?" To activate it, users simply press an "Anger" icon in the program to progress to the next threat. A warning chime accompanies each message. The designer says it’s “for women who want to scare away perverts with minimum hassle and without attracting attention.” It’ll never sell in New York; folks here prefer to state their objections a little more clearly (To say the least).

'OH. DID I WAKE YOU?'

We never call overseas, so possibly waking someone up isn’t a problem for us. But if you’re more worldly than that, Time Translator.com is pushing an interesting cellphone download. For $19.95, you can get software on your phone that tells you what time it is where you’re calling, so you don’t accidentally hear that groggy “’Allo?” (Yeah, that could put the halt to a potential business deal, couldn’t it? “Oh, did I wake you?” “No, I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.”) The software goes for $19.95. But realizing that not everyone wants this, they also direct interested parties to a site called WorldTimeZone.com, which shows you online a map for the current time for every zone in the world. Bonus: Go there and wait a few seconds. There’s a voice that calls out “Hell-oh-oh” that sounds just like PeeWee Herman.

WE PREFER MAGNETS

Whirlpool has come out with a new model refrigerator that will cause us all to re-think how we display photos and the kids’ artwork. The side-by-side fridge will carry a “centralpark” brand connection that “allows consumers to flaunt the refrigerator and precious family photos with CEIVA, the world's only connected digital photo frame.” Basically, it’s “an 8" high-resolution LCD screen with a built-in card reader. With on-screen menus, the frame is easy to use and capable of automatically receiving photos sent by camera phone or though an online CEIVA account.” Yeah, yeah, very nice, but call us a Luddite; we prefer the old clutter and jumble of photos and drawings on our fridge, scratch-marks and all. Go to Whirlpool.com/centralpark and judge for yourself.

LIVING IN THE PAST

Our good friends at San Francisco’s Yowza Software are pushing a fun new product. They call it “P.Bio” for “Personal Biographer,” and it’s meant to spider the Web looking for any activities you undertake on a given day. The idea is that the software “can automatically research your life and create a calendar of your past, showing where you were, what you purchased, who you contacted, and what pictures you took—all with no need for daily entries.” They’re aiming it at folks who’d like to keep a diary, but keep forgetting to do so. Two questions: 1) What if you don’t want anyone recording certain, uhhhh, “sites” (Yes, those are air-quotes) you may have visited (Oh, stop; like you don’t do that.); and 2) What if, in all your forgetfulness, you forget your logon password? Decide for yourself at PBio Software.com.

. . . OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

Yeah, we know it’s the punchline to an old joke, but Playboy started it with this headline on a release today: “Quattro and Playboy Partner to Put a Playmate in Your Pocket.” The wireless company and the racy publisher are teaming to offer Playboy.com content to select mobile customers. It’ a pretty good idea, as marketers will be able to reach a select audience, with the service featuring “relevant advertisements from premium sponsors such as AXE Vice body spray and Sony Pictures Home Entertainment.” But just like a sudden, cold shower, they put the brakes on our enthusiasm with this caveat: “Whether at work or on the go, Playboy enthusiasts can browse non-nude photos [Italics added] of their favorite Playboy models and get to know turn-ons and turn-offs in their personal interviews.” Yeah, because we want Playboy for the articles.

BECAUSE USING YOUR HANDS IS SO YESTERDAY...

Word out of Japan is that some engineers there have developed 'head gear that uses infrared sensors and a microcomputer to let people operate music players by clenching their teeth.' That would be for iPods, and it comes from the land where commuter rail lines actually hire people to push (and pack) the riders onto rush hour trains, so we guess it makes sense. The story from Agence France Presse was short on details such as where you can buy one, but we’re sure a massive marketing campaign is being developed even now. As if those annoying people with Bluetooths walking around talking out loud aren’t bothersome enough, now we have to watch folks grimace as they change songs? Sheesh.

PEOPLE STILL USE THE WORD 'BLING'?

We don’t know which is stranger about the following: The fact that some iPhone users might feel the need to decorate their new, $600 phone, or that a company embraces the word “bling.” Either way, they seem to have the market cornered. All American Bling.com issued a release noting that they have all the accessories one could want for their new Apple iPhone. But it was this mention touting their experience that caught our eye: “AllAmericanBling.com is one of the top ranked sites in Razr Phone bling,” [a company rep] said, “So iPhone bling comes to us as naturally as a Betty Boop cell phone faceplate cover. Our site is all about the latest in conspicuous consumption technology.” Yeah, ‘cause who wouldn’t want a Betty Boop cell phone cover?

GEEK ALERT, CHAPTER SEVEN

For folks who spend most of their waking hours living the life they wish they had in the virtual reality known as “Second Life,” good news: Playboy Enterprises in setting up shop there with the official launch of Playboy Island. “Playboy's Second Life retail location will feature merchandise from its e-commerce sites, PlayboyStore.com and ShoptheBunny.com. Residents can purchase Playboy-branded apparel either for the real world or for their Second Life avatars,” they said in a release. Good for Playboy; nice to see them attempting to reach new markets wherever they are. And for the Second Lifers? While we hate to state the obvious, we will anyway: Dude, get a life.